The most recent adventure in the VDP house is not about Peter. He is still a student. I know….surprise!
I too have thrown myself into the world of academics and started substitute teaching! I am employed in a neighboring school district, and am licensed to sub K-12! Full confession; I’m terrified of the highschoolers at this point, because most of them will be taller than me. But seeing as how I want to eventually teach highschool, I’m gonna have to cross that terrifying bridge some time, just not today…... and probably not tomorrow.
Up to this point, I’ve been content taking elementary and middle school jobs. I’ve run the gambit of tasks. From teaching 6th graders with Aspbergers how to do Sudoku for 2 hours, to pulling up the pants of first graders and making sure they were buttoned correctly b/c they just kept falling down, it’s been a roller coaster!
My best story so far, involves an absolutely hilarious pair of 1st graders. I’m gonna call them “Chris and Dan”. They were the first 2 to arrive in class, and right away I knew that Dan was the extremely helpful one, and Chris would most likely grow up to become a hypochondriac. Before the day even started, I had full knowledge of both the morning schedule including potty breaks, and the full array of Chris’s various ailments.
As the day wore on, Dan was very helpful, and Chris was actually quite sweet. Unfortunately Chris had fallen at recess the day before and had “wounded his knee pretty bad” (read: the wound was the size of a nickel). In the morning he seemed to be dealing with it fairly well, but as the day wore on and we switched back and forth from sitting at our desks to sitting on the reading rug, the wound had begun to fester. There may have been some early signs of gangrene, but I’m no medical professional. Chris kept asking to go down to the nurse to see if anything could be done, and I kept assuring him that it was scabbed over and therefore probably just fine. Ever helpful Dan added (with index finger pointed straight into the air, indicating this was indeed fact): “Scabs are nature’s bandaid!”
Yes they are!
Throughout all this, I had noticed that Dan was a little bit obsessed with making sure everyone had a sharp pencil, and that the extra pencils in the pencil cup were also at their sharpest. (I told you he was helpful). There were quite a few times where I had to ask him to step away from the pencil sharpener, and return to his desk, the reading rug, the bathroom line, etc. When I noticed him wandering around to other students pointing out that the pencil they were using wasn’t very sharp, and he would be happy to sharpen it, I grew concerned. I finally had to ban him from any further pencil sharpening. It was a tough call, but it had to be made.
The day continued rather normally as we all settled into a rhythm, and I began to call individual students to my desk for private reading time. Eventually I got to Dan, who came smiling up, sat down and began to read. All of a sudden he stopped, and I could tell, it wasn’t because he didn’t know the words. Then I spied it, peeking out from under a pile of papers, barely visible between all the stuff on my desk…… a dull pencil. Dan looked at me, and I looked at him, and I knew it was coming,
“Uhhhh…………………..I could sharpen that for you.”
To keep myself from bursting out laughing, I simply said “yes please”, and watched him sprint to the pencil sharpener. Yes, I let a child run with a dull pencil. Gimme a break, I’m just the sub!
Finally it was time for lunch! I got them all packed up, jackets on, lunches in hand and sent them off. Chris and Dan were last, as Chris had resorted to using only his good leg, and Dan was serving as his crutch. What a day!
Then I went home, and fell asleep watching Oprah. So to sum up subbing so far:
Pro: You get home in time to watch Oprah.
Con: You will fall asleep during Oprah.
The end.
